I didn’t know my own strength …

Just last Friday I was reminded of these words I wrote and originally posted on Facebook.  One of my daughter’s teachers came up to me and asked if I wrote the words she read a month or so ago.  It took some time digging up the post, reading it and having her say, “That’s the one!” before I told her, “Yes, those are my words.”

Many times we often forget the strength we have and we need to be reminded, especially when we least expect it.  Below I would like to share with you the post I wrote not too long ago.

Write. Share. Own.

I spent the day thinking about what to write, what to say … but the words never came.  I was left speechless, yet my whole body filled with so much emotion.  I decided to log-in to a site that used to be my home.  One that I spent countless hours at … spilling my heart and soul into every word, cleansing myself of the hurt, pain and tears, learning and loving myself, one piece at a time … and I remembered just how important it all was.  The freedom to lay myself bare and expose every haunting memory of what once was in a place that was safe, accepting and patient, is a blessing I will always cherish.  It is something we all deserve, something we all need.

A Pain No Greater … part one

*originally written March 14, 2011

It’s been a long, struggling weekend. I just signed off with a loved one after failing miserably to explain why the emotions I’ve had inside me have been storming with an intensity that even left me somewhat bewildered. Frustrated and emotionally drained, I smoked my last cigarette of the night and headed to bed. Searching for the comfort and safety of sleep, my mind began to run a million miles a minute and the tears just began to flow uncontrollably. The more I tried to shut my thoughts out, the more I tried to stop crying … the more intense they came. I laid in bed confused and hurting, wanting nothing more then to have someone recognize my pain and simply just hold me. But there was no one there. No arms to wrap around me, no lips to kiss my forehead, nobody to just hold me tight all night long and whisper that everything was going to be okay as I drifted to sleep in their arms.