Posts tagged ‘triggers’

July 4, 2012

One journey.

by Michelle B. Araneta

Sometimes getting back into the swing of things is much easier said than done.

The last time I met with my lawyer, she said something to me that I haven’t quite been able to shake till now.  She told me that as she read my pieces on here, she realized that I wasn’t quite out of the fog as she had thought I was.  Since that day, I have found myself trying to prove (to myself) that I am indeed out of the fog.  Silly as it sounds, I was living life by avoiding everything that would remotely remind me of what used to be.  That is until I realized that for those of us that have lived in the fog, there will always come a point in time that although we are out, we will have our moments with one foot in the light while the other slipped back into the darkness.

I tried to explain to her the reasons I felt were important to understand why it may appear this way to her, not seeing that I was actually making excuses.  It was a hard admission I had to face.  I was in denial, to be honest.  I couldn’t possibly believe that after all this time, how hard I’ve worked, and how intensely I have fought … that maybe, just maybe … I was back at where I started.

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April 10, 2012

The unexpected.

by Michelle B. Araneta

As we each step into the light and out of the fog, little by little, the feelings of being overwhelmed and helpless diminish and somewhat begin to disappear.  We get braver … stronger … taking bigger and bigger steps into the light.  We are focused, determined, and passionate about moving forward.  Grateful for the time that has past and the battles that have been won … but … in all that joy, we can sometimes forget the unexpected.

Just a week ago, I was lost in the heavy feelings of being overwhelmed and helpless.  I was simply frozen.  Unable to move forward and make sense of anything.  I tried desperately to understand what had happened, but it wasn’t until the weekend that the pieces began to fall into place.  Yes, many things were unraveling in my personal life and my own battles, but what I had not considered was, the feelings I would experience with opening this site.  It was the unexpected.

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April 4, 2012

Overwhelmed.

by Michelle B. Araneta

Sometimes we get swallowed up by life.  We get lost in all that we need to do, how we are feeling, the stress of what comes our way, what we want to say, and desperation to get it all done.  It is the feeling of being overwhelmed, and sometimes thrown into the mix for good measure is a dose of helplessness.  I have been there many, many times before and just recently, these past few days.  Usually it happens when we have so many things on our to-do list, deadlines to meet, pressure to accomplish it all, and need to get it done right, but what we don’t realize is that, this feeling is much more intensified when one has gone through abuse.

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March 20, 2012

A Pain No Greater … part one

by Lana Bardot

*originally written March 14, 2011

It’s been a long, struggling weekend. I just signed off with a loved one after failing miserably to explain why the emotions I’ve had inside me have been storming with an intensity that even left me somewhat bewildered. Frustrated and emotionally drained, I smoked my last cigarette of the night and headed to bed. Searching for the comfort and safety of sleep, my mind began to run a million miles a minute and the tears just began to flow uncontrollably. The more I tried to shut my thoughts out, the more I tried to stop crying … the more intense they came. I laid in bed confused and hurting, wanting nothing more then to have someone recognize my pain and simply just hold me. But there was no one there. No arms to wrap around me, no lips to kiss my forehead, nobody to just hold me tight all night long and whisper that everything was going to be okay as I drifted to sleep in their arms.

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March 20, 2012

PLEASE BE ADVISED …

by Michelle B. Araneta

You have reached a site focused on ABUSE, more specifically, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.  Although this site is made purely for informative purposes, it is possible that there may be words and/or images that could trigger a past or recent event in your life.  Please prepare yourself for what might be graphic, as we, at OUT OF THE FOG NOW, will not be sugarcoating the facts.