Posts tagged ‘fog’

October 21, 2012

Off Balance …

by Michelle B. Araneta

The hardest part of life is making a decision that requires you to deny part of yourself for something society believes to be more important.  Happiness is only temporary, but contentment is lasting.  Contentment is defined by understanding and knowing who you are then fully accepting and embracing all of you with an open heart.  To deny parts of yourself only opens the door to anxiety, defensiveness, and guilt … usually under the guise of someone or something else.

As November slowly approaches, I feel my underlying anxiety creeping it’s way to the forefront of my daily life.  I have denied several pieces of me for so many months now, believing that I needed to focus on what I ‘needed’ to do, and finally it’s all caught up to me.  Who I am, who we all are, is a question we struggle to answer on a daily basis because of our constant distractions, emotions, tasks, needs and requirements of that day.

Today, I find myself reflecting on who I am, searching for the basis of my anxiety … trying to understand the reason why this overwhelming feeling has once more returned.  I know it’s a compilation of things, but I’ve come to understand something deeper this morning.

I’d like to share something I wrote a few days ago with you …

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July 4, 2012

One journey.

by Michelle B. Araneta

Sometimes getting back into the swing of things is much easier said than done.

The last time I met with my lawyer, she said something to me that I haven’t quite been able to shake till now.  She told me that as she read my pieces on here, she realized that I wasn’t quite out of the fog as she had thought I was.  Since that day, I have found myself trying to prove (to myself) that I am indeed out of the fog.  Silly as it sounds, I was living life by avoiding everything that would remotely remind me of what used to be.  That is until I realized that for those of us that have lived in the fog, there will always come a point in time that although we are out, we will have our moments with one foot in the light while the other slipped back into the darkness.

I tried to explain to her the reasons I felt were important to understand why it may appear this way to her, not seeing that I was actually making excuses.  It was a hard admission I had to face.  I was in denial, to be honest.  I couldn’t possibly believe that after all this time, how hard I’ve worked, and how intensely I have fought … that maybe, just maybe … I was back at where I started.

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March 29, 2012

Do you speak “Abuse”?

by Michelle B. Araneta

Click here: “PLEASE BE ADVISED!” before reading.

“Secrets …

… We learn to hide each one of them from the eyes of the world, burying them deep within us, hoping that they will arrive in the land of the forgotten. Unknowingly when we do that, we inevitably keep ourselves chained to the depths of the fog he has created. We struggle against the chains, trying desperately to free ourselves, but the more we lock up our secrets and bury them inside us, the tighter their grip on us becomes. So we learn to cope, learn to believe what he says, and learn to understand that he is right … but still we silently pray, we silently hope, we silently plead with life to give us that one moment of safety to unchain us from our secret.” (excerpt from “Secrets.”)

~*~*~*~

As luck would have it, there comes a day when we find that safe moment. We gather all our strength and courage to share our little secret … but, unfortunately, most of the time we are not faced with that loving parent mentioned in “Secrets.” We find we are not sharing our story with the person we thought would listen to every word and scoop us up immediately to hold us close. We are sharing our story with someone different, someone who doesn’t understand, someone who doesn’t believe us. Someone that begins to sound like him.

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March 20, 2012

We are not alone.

by Michelle B. Araneta

Not yesterday, not today, and never tomorrow.

Too many women and children, all over the world, believe that when abuse happens to them, it happens to only them. That is NOT true. Abuse knows nothing about color, class, age, body type, profession, education, position or anything else. Abuse does not discriminate. It knows only two things, it is only after two things, it will only hunt down two things, and that is … POWER and CONTROL.

The greatest weapon abuse has in it’s arsenal is silence. OUT OF THE FOG NOW is here to break through that silence … to shine the light on the truths and reality that violence has so cleverly hidden in the fog. No more keeping quiet, no more empowering the silence … OUT OF THE FOG NOW is here to speak up loudly and to stand proudly against the violence that women and children continue to suffer each and every day of their lives.

Each word on this site was written from the experiences, understanding and enlightenment of women who have been and/or still are being abused, suffered from and/or still suffering from Battered Woman Syndrome, fought through and/or still fighting through the legal system, stepped into and/or beginning to step into the shoes of survivors.

We are here to share our story. We are here to bring the truth about abuse and domestic violence out of the fog and into the light. We are here to stand together and recognize that we are not alone. We are here in hopes that women will learn from us, gain the strength and find the courage they need to fight this battle.