Write. Share. Own.

by Lana Bardot

I spent the day thinking about what to write, what to say … but the words never came.  I was left speechless, yet my whole body filled with so much emotion.  I decided to log-in to a site that used to be my home.  One that I spent countless hours at … spilling my heart and soul into every word, cleansing myself of the hurt, pain and tears, learning and loving myself, one piece at a time … and I remembered just how important it all was.  The freedom to lay myself bare and expose every haunting memory of what once was in a place that was safe, accepting and patient, is a blessing I will always cherish.  It is something we all deserve, something we all need.

I read through several pieces I had written, forgetting that they were once what was keeping me sane and hopeful amidst all the struggles I was facing.  Memories came flooding back of who I was at that time, how I was desperately trying to keep it all together and find the courage and strength to keep fighting … but, as I read each word I had written, a smile crept upon my face and I realized how much I have grown.  How much I have persevered.  How much light had been brought out of the shadows.  Out of the fog.

It never occurred to me at the time I was writing, that the words I typed on the screen would have any power, any significance.  They were simply, my expression … my coping mechanism … my escape from a world that was filled with torment … my release of the memories that chained me.  More importantly though, they allowed me to dream … grab hope and claim it … ride the winds of faith.  Today, as I  read my own words, I felt their power and understood their significance.  They were the reason I am stronger today.  It was through them that my path became clear.  Little by little they unraveled the thick fog that blinded my eyes as they forced me to see clearly what was real and what were lies.

When I wrote, I didn’t think.  I gave reign to my emotions, I allowed them to guide me and I unlocked their freedom.  My emotions spoke the truth without holding back, forcing me to look myself in the mirror to accept and understand what I had gone through, but, it was what they offered me that meant the world.  They gave me a choice, a choice to move into the light or to remain in the fog.  I choose to move into the light.

I share this with you, because I know the fear.  I’ve been there and I have fought through it.  I know what its like to not want to face the horrors you have gone through, thinking that keeping them buried will keep them away, but it’s through them you find strength.  It’s through those experiences you find hope.  It is through your emotions that you unleash through words that you find you’re not alone.  It is through the words of your story that the chains fall apart.  It is through the truth you own that you claim back the power.

Today, don’t let fear hold you back … write and share your story, because when you look back at your words, you will find the power and significance that I found today.

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3 Comments to “Write. Share. Own.”

  1. Lana, I think in your next post you should share a piece you wrote.

  2. Lana,
    Thanks for sharing! I too at times struggle to write my story, due to the overwhelming feeling of fear of the emotions that I may feel when I realease the secrets of my past. But, I continue to have hope knowing that God is with me and He gives me the strength I need, every step of the way. Hugs to you! Denise

  3. Michelle, I will post one of my pieces very soon.

    bnewvision, it truly isn’t an easy task to just let go and let the words flow on their own. It takes time, and countless attempts before we let go of the fear. I used to ‘just write & post’. I rarely read my own words at the beginning, barely ever edited and I did this because I knew the importance of setting them free, and I believed that every grammar, spelling mistake, and every missed word, and flow of the moment was all part of my emotions at the time. I wasn’t writing to be a good writer, I was writing to release. Slowly, the more I wrote and through the comments of others, I found the encouragement and strength to keep writing, keep sharing, keep moving forward. Little by little that fear turned into empowerment. My words became stronger, and I learnt to own my truth instead of have it keep me prisoner.

    We set the pace of our own journey, but we have to listen and understand our emotions because they tell us when we are ready. And through, God’s love we have to remember that He is with us, holding our hand, every step of the way.

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