Posts tagged ‘power’

April 20, 2012

Caught between Today and Yesterday.

by Michelle B. Araneta

Since the beginning of this month, I have been struggling to write much on anything that truly delves deep into the fog and the reason became clear to me yesterday.  In almost five years I have accumulated a numerous amount of court cases and in one of those court cases, I am finally going to take the stand and recount all the pain and trauma I went through once again.  Although the date of the hearing is still quite a ways away, I am faced with having to go through my old files and dig up the past in order for my lawyer and myself to be prepared.  The problem is, it’s not as simple as it sounds.

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March 30, 2012

The making of an abuser …

by bbqueen46

A lot has to be said for how an abuser was as a son, brother and boyfriend.  One can’t be so different the other, for love has to be the fundamental ingredient, if not by choice than by affinity … for one can not truly love without loving your own.

Abusers almost always never leave their prey.  And, if by a remote chance they do, they hold steadfast to their faulty claim with firm control through whatever means possible …

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March 29, 2012

Do you speak “Abuse”?

by Michelle B. Araneta

Click here: “PLEASE BE ADVISED!” before reading.

“Secrets …

… We learn to hide each one of them from the eyes of the world, burying them deep within us, hoping that they will arrive in the land of the forgotten. Unknowingly when we do that, we inevitably keep ourselves chained to the depths of the fog he has created. We struggle against the chains, trying desperately to free ourselves, but the more we lock up our secrets and bury them inside us, the tighter their grip on us becomes. So we learn to cope, learn to believe what he says, and learn to understand that he is right … but still we silently pray, we silently hope, we silently plead with life to give us that one moment of safety to unchain us from our secret.” (excerpt from “Secrets.”)

~*~*~*~

As luck would have it, there comes a day when we find that safe moment. We gather all our strength and courage to share our little secret … but, unfortunately, most of the time we are not faced with that loving parent mentioned in “Secrets.” We find we are not sharing our story with the person we thought would listen to every word and scoop us up immediately to hold us close. We are sharing our story with someone different, someone who doesn’t understand, someone who doesn’t believe us. Someone that begins to sound like him.

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March 27, 2012

Secrets.

by Michelle B. Araneta

Click here: “PLEASE BE ADVISED!” before reading.

Secrets. We all know and understand what emotions and struggles come with carrying secrets, but do we all know, understand and comprehend what emotions and struggles come with carrying dark secrets. I don’t think so.

A five year old child knows the guilt and fear of lying to their parents when they say, “I didn’t break it, Mommy. Thomas (their three year old brother) did!”

Children automatically fear the anger, the scolding, the punishment. The disapproving and disappointing looks they’ll get from the people they love most. They tremble from the idea that their wrongdoing might lead to their mother or father no longer loving them, but eventually, guilt kicks in. The weight of the lie, the secret, weighs heavily on them. It becomes too much for them to carry. Some children can’t sleep, some can’t eat, some won’t even talk. The affect of the secret is so strong at times, they yearn for the freedom from the chains and then, when a safe moment arrives, the child comes clean and shares their secret.

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March 23, 2012

Write. Share. Own.

by Lana Bardot

I spent the day thinking about what to write, what to say … but the words never came.  I was left speechless, yet my whole body filled with so much emotion.  I decided to log-in to a site that used to be my home.  One that I spent countless hours at … spilling my heart and soul into every word, cleansing myself of the hurt, pain and tears, learning and loving myself, one piece at a time … and I remembered just how important it all was.  The freedom to lay myself bare and expose every haunting memory of what once was in a place that was safe, accepting and patient, is a blessing I will always cherish.  It is something we all deserve, something we all need.

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March 20, 2012

We are not alone.

by Michelle B. Araneta

Not yesterday, not today, and never tomorrow.

Too many women and children, all over the world, believe that when abuse happens to them, it happens to only them. That is NOT true. Abuse knows nothing about color, class, age, body type, profession, education, position or anything else. Abuse does not discriminate. It knows only two things, it is only after two things, it will only hunt down two things, and that is … POWER and CONTROL.

The greatest weapon abuse has in it’s arsenal is silence. OUT OF THE FOG NOW is here to break through that silence … to shine the light on the truths and reality that violence has so cleverly hidden in the fog. No more keeping quiet, no more empowering the silence … OUT OF THE FOG NOW is here to speak up loudly and to stand proudly against the violence that women and children continue to suffer each and every day of their lives.

Each word on this site was written from the experiences, understanding and enlightenment of women who have been and/or still are being abused, suffered from and/or still suffering from Battered Woman Syndrome, fought through and/or still fighting through the legal system, stepped into and/or beginning to step into the shoes of survivors.

We are here to share our story. We are here to bring the truth about abuse and domestic violence out of the fog and into the light. We are here to stand together and recognize that we are not alone. We are here in hopes that women will learn from us, gain the strength and find the courage they need to fight this battle.